My heart is full tonight. I have been working on patterns for doll clothes for over a year now. Do you know what surprises me most about this project? This has been way more of a journey than I thought possible. It seemed simple when I set out, but in many ways it has been more of a journey of personal growth.
Over this year I have gone in and out of sharing bits and pieces of this journey with you. I have struggled with sharing consistently about this project because frankly it has been messy sometimes. Tonight I’m stepping out a bit. I’m cracking the door open and sharing from the heart.
So, the Pattern Chronicles are born, snippets of experiences and thoughts along this journey of creating doll clothes patterns.
I think of you, the reader, the sewist, the crafter all the time. I work on this business everyday. You are in my thoughts, but I am first a wife and mother. I am not just a business. I am not just one thing. None of us are. Can I begin with a mommy moment? It is the backdrop of who I am. It is my world and why I decided to bring this business into my world.
My baby is 4. Tonight I drew pictures on Lucy’s back with my finger, a butterfly, a house, a flower, a tree. She liked the game because it distracted her from the disappointment that the day is done and it is time to sleep. We talked about the day. We talked about people she loves, cousins, grandma and grandpa. Trying to wrap her head around the connections of family, she asked me again who my mom was. She is still baffled that her precious grandma can also be my mom. With hesitance, she asked if I would still be her mom when she grew up. “I’ll always be your mom.” I reassured. She teared up, rolled over, wrapped her arm around my neck and said “I’ll miss you when I grow up.” Hugging her right back I said, “I’ll always be your mom, even when you grow up.” But she’s right, life changes. I too will miss this moment when she grows up!
It came back to me tonight from something I heard recently, “The days are long and the years are short”. I’m really feeling it tonight. It’s a pull to be intentional about these precious relationships with those I love. It’s deciding what is part of each day. When I look back through the years that seem to whip by, I want what’s most important to be built upon and sustained.
Here’s my short list for motherhood.
- Say “I love you”, everyday.
- Hug each day.
- Connect each day through really listening.
- Be in the moment and really present when spending time together.
Does that sound picture perfect? Yes, it does to me too. I know that life is messy and not picture perfect for me. Do you know what trying does? It puts these intentions on my radar and keeps me moving towards what is most important to me. Progress is more important than perfection.
This is a little piece of my heart tonight and a little piece of the journey. These little pieces of motherhood spill over into all I do.